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A typical holiday (or “end-of-year”) bonus for a nanny is usually equivalent to one/two weeks’ pay, but since it is based on so many things, it tends to vary tremendously. Some families can’t afford to gift this amount, and choose to give a small gift instead, or a handmade gift from the child(ren). Here’s an article that I found helpful: https://lifeasmama.com/how-to-give-your-nanny-a-holiday-bonus/
Six months of searching (especially for a Nanny share) is not at all unreasonable. It may take you time to find the right fit! I definitely would encourage you to start your search soon. As Emily said, some nannies looking for new positions already know their “end date”, even if it’s months away. Good luck!
Great advice, Shenley! I’m currently working for a family with two girls (7 & 9), and they have been exhibiting some “testing” behavior lately (the holiday season can be tough and stressful for children, as well!). I tried your advice out when they were arguing about doing their piano practice, and it didn’t go quite like I imagined it would…
They were trying to negotiate to do their piano practice after they went ice skating, and they know the rule is that they have to do their “required activities” before their “fun activities”. Even though they know the rule, they were still trying to talk me into a negotiation. J9 said “But why can’t we just do it our way JUST ONCE???”. I responded “Asked and answered”, and she said “We don’t say “Asked and answered” in our house”. I said “Well, I do, and that’s my final response. We won’t be discussing this further”.
It’s been a while since I’ve worked with older children, and they seem to enjoy studying me to figure out my triggers. They’re very smart girls and very observant, and they’re going through a bit of a stressful time in their lives and I feel like they are taking their frustrations out on me 🙁 Sometimes, when I can feel that I’m being triggered, I have to let them know that I need a break and that I’m going to leave the room for a while. Is this ok? Is there a better way for me to respond? I don’t want them to feel like I’m abandoning them, and I certainly don’t want them to feel like they’ve “won” when I have to step back from the conversation.
Hi Devin! Many birth doulas offer packages that include a specific number of postpartum visits, but a postpartum doula can also be a separate specialist. Many postpartum doulas are fully trained and certified, but this is not a requirement. It’s important to check references and certifications ahead of time (just as you would with a nanny or babysitter) if you’re considering hiring a postpartum doula.
I’ve found that one of the best ways to feel supported is to have an honest and truthful support system (be it IRL “in real life”, or online). So many women feel embarrassed to speak about these issues, feeling that it will make them seem weak or incompetent- but that is SO not the case! As mothers, it is imperative that we share our stories so that others don’t feel like they’re the only ones going through these tough times. Postpartum Depression and Anxiety is normal. It’s not the mother’s fault. No one should feel embarrassed or shameful about it, and talking about it DOES help. Sometimes, diet and lifestyle changes can help. Other times, medication may be needed.
Here is another resource that I found helpful when my son was a newborn: https://preview1.wpengine.com/postpartum-depression-help/support-from-ppd-doctor
I’ll come back and add more in a bit. I have shared my story in the past, and would love to do so here.