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Question
My spouse and I have never had or wanted a lot of things. Since having kids, however, our house has been overtaken by kids’ toys. Whether it’s gifts for birthdays or special occasions, our children love all the toys but seem completely unsatiated and are always wanting more.
We demonstrate gratitude by each saying what we are grateful for when we pray, but this doesn’t seem to do the trick. Do you have any other suggestions?
Answer
Great news! You are on the right track! Including gratitude in your prayers is an excellent way to model being grateful for the things we have. Here are some tips that might be helpful as your work toward building happy, appreciative, and thankful children.
Model gratitude. Modeling gratitude is key! Say what you are grateful for throughout your day and your children will follow. And be specific. When your children or spouse do something, explain why you appreciate what they did.
Make a list. You can also help your children create a list of things they are grateful for. It can be beneficial for them to see all the things they are grateful for in one place. Your children can write these in a daily journal or they can write each item on a scrap of paper to store in a jar. As they see the jar filled with papers over time, they can see all the things they appreciate in their lives.
Thank you notes. This seems to be a lost art, but handwriting and mailing thank you notes for gifts or experiences is such a nice gesture. If your children are given a gift from a family member or friend, have them write a nice note. They can make their own card, get their own special stationery, or simply write something on a notebook or construction paper. By doing so, your children will hopefully start appreciating all that others do for them—and your family and friends will likely enjoy a nice surprise in their mailbox.
Toy Overload
Addressing toy overload is a more difficult challenge. Children just love their toys and having to part with them—even ones they rarely play with—is a difficult task. While research shows that play is an important contributor to children’s development—it supports the development of social skills, fine and gross motor skills, and creativity—too many toys can be distracting and may limit children’s play.
Specifically, if a child has too many toys, they may lose interest in one and not take advantage of all the ways the toy can be used. And some toys can only be used one way, meaning all sense of creativity for figuring out the toy is lost. Whereas, if a child has a few special toys, they can experiment and learn new and different ways to play with it.
To address toy overload, start by rotating toys so that not all toys are available at any given time. When children have access to everything at once, they can struggle with too many choices and end up not playing with anything. Also, help your children create good memories around the toys that are out. Carve out 30 to 45 minutes per day for undistracted playtime with you and your child. Or have your child bring their toy to school for show-and-tell, where they can show it to other children and demonstrate how it is used. These positive experiences will help them build new and positive associations with their toys. To learn more, listen to this podcast episode on Toy Overload.
We hope this helps and are here for follow-up questions!